Over Three Years Later

I have been thinking about the war since before it started when we (I and other dedicated and foolhardy souls) were soulfully and sorrowfully marching in the streets of San Francisco, Los Angeles and San Diego. It is never far from my consciousness, both because of who I am, and because I live in an area populated by marines and naval personnel. As I drive down local streets and highways, I encounter cars with, of course, the typical "Support the Troops" signs and ribbons, while there are very few of a counter-view, except for my SO's (who has a "Coexist" sticker on his car). Lately I’ve seen "Welcome home, Daddy, we missed you" sprayed on vehicles. Others I've seen recently include "You are our Knight in body armor," and "Honey, you are mine tonight" . Based only on the number of cars I've driven by with such writings, I would guess that a large contingency of troops recently came home. It is so difficult to manage the anger and the sadness that I feel when I hear about the war, read about it, or remember how hard we tried to prevent it. Two of the most memorable occasions were when I traveled overnight, once on a bus and once by car, to San Francisco to march in the streets downtown with tens of thousands of individuals—once over two hundred thousand—gathering together, unified in their distress and their impotence. Individuals who did not know what else to do, but who had to do something, even if it was only to make their voices heard. We tried so desperately to halt what, in retrospect, was clearly inevitable.

The memories and associated feelings are coursing through my mind now more than they often do, in part because I am reading Fiasco: The American Military Adventure in Iraq by Thomas E. Ricks. I am a voracious reader. I have to have one or two books in progress and usually more lined up waiting. And I like to read at night before bed. I get so enraged reading this book, however, I might have to change my practice.

This morning I looked through some old computer files and documents (old=Year 2003) and found the following letter, a letter I wrote to some of our Congressmen. I think I faxed it to Senator Feinstein and others, but, honestly, I don't really recall. I wrote it shortly after the initial bombing raids on Iraq—the “Shock and Awe”. I remember so clearly how I felt. I remember feeling the acid burn at the bottom of my stomach, feeling helpless and hopeless, outraged and defeated. I remember watching the bombs, the “precision bombs”, bursting and throwing shrapnel and fire at unknown targets and bystanders. I remember thinking about the brutal effects of the bombs. I read that it is likely that anyone within 300 plus feet of the blast, which creates pressures of several thousand pounds per square inch and 8,500-degree heat, will not survive. Shrapnel and debris can fly nearly three-quarters of a mile. I read that the pressure can literally pull a limb off of someone. Everything in its range is obliterated. My throat tightens and the acid in my stomach builds just remembering.And now, over three years later, the bloodshed continues. To what end?

"March 21, 2003
Dear Senator:

I am horrified by what I am seeing in Baghdad and in other areas of Iraq. I desperately wanted to believe that those who represent us would succeed in stopping this war and today’s horrific bombing campaign before it started. Regardless of whether you believe the war to be just or unjust, the magnitude of the damage and destruction we are bringing to bear upon the people of Iraq under the pretext of removing a dictatorial regime—one that we aided and abetted for many years and helped to put into power—is reprehensible, unethical,and immoral. It violates international law and, quite simply, the most basic sense of right and wrong. The imbalance of military and economic power between the two states is immeasurable; and I fear that the complete devastation that we are causing will indeed be judged, as was so eloquently stated by Pope John Paul II, by our “conscience, history, and God.” It is far too easy to label those of us who object to this campaign and who are demoralized by what is happening as partisans, leftists, reactionaries, Marxists, hippies, and unpatriotic malcontents. I cannot help but wonder where the rhetoric stops and what you truly believe about the people you represent begins. Many of us are caring, patriotic, thoughtful, intelligent and educated people who oppose what is happening based on greater principles. Those who oppose this war are from so many different organizations; organizations that include the National Council of Churches, women’s groups, minority groups, students, professionals, working class people and children. Indeed, the World itself is against what we are doing.

The Administration and others can couch it in whatever language they please and call the actions of our country and some affiliates the actions of a “Coalition of the Willing”, speaking of the 45 countries who support what we are doing. But reality is visible to those who choose to look. Those “Willing” are countries who depend on our country for economic support and other aid, and many can certainly be characterized as anything but bastions of democracy and protectors of human rights. Many of the Central Asian countries on the list are among the worst violators of human rights against their people. Listening to Donald Rumsfeld and others speak about this war as liberating the Iraqi people is offensive and disturbing. Our nation’s recent track record in Afghanistan doesn’t support an purported commitment to protecting the people of the countries that we “liberate.” I listen to the news, watch what is happening, and I listen to what those in the Administration and its supporters are saying, and I truly wonder how they manage to sleep at night. The only just war would be one of self defense. And while there are many who are willing to believe that this war is being fought in defense of the American people, there are many who are aware of the fallacies involved in that argument (The ties to September 11 lead to countries allied with us in this ‘endeavor’--not Iraq.). There are many of us who cannot help but note the inconsistencies of our position with regard to our dealings with other countries, countries who we know harbor members of Al-Quaeda (e.g., Kuwait, Pakistan, Uzbekistan…).

The violence of this war has already ignited additional violence around the world. It is difficult to believe that it will end here. The violence that protestors (and the police) are experiencing in Egypt and other countries is unconscionable. We are beginning a period of violence and fractionalization that perhaps only history will be able to judge, because it appears to be a period that will last beyond the lifetimes of many of us. I sincerely hope that those responsible for this misguided endeavor pray to whatever God they believe in that they are not wrong; and I hope that they are judged with more mercy than they have shown their fellow world citizens."

May we all be judged with mercy.